puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
