you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize