Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
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I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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