Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
