Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
