I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
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Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
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He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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