So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
