Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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