you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
