My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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