Already got asked if we're dating
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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