How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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