if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
