am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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