So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
These tits shall not be calmed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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