Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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