Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
