he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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