Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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