Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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