on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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