whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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