my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish you could order shots online.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize