I have demons in me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
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I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
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I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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