just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
