Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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