belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
