i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize