We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
