my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
