I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
