I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
