I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
