Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
