so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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