PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
