I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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