I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
