Nicole vs. Life
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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