Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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