vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I touched a dick in church today
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Holy shit dude........stairs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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