We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
