Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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