Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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