bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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