I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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