I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
