Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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