Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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