I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
