I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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