Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
