we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize