remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
