He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
