I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
