Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
