I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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