It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
