Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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