help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
